Fantasy football and me...

I was finally home the middle of July. Guess what. Going home doesn't mean you're ready to party. I was weak and the going home was less than desirable. First of all, I couldn't escape the knowledge that I had a newborn and couldn't take care of her the way I wanted, the trek to get to the shower seat and eventually tub , was what I called the "tunnel of doom". Mostly, I was tired and didn't care about much. I mean I couldn't cook the way I had or play the piano so in my mind coming home wasn't that great. One Sunday at church I saw the table for fantasy football...it was a sign-up. Forrest signed me up as i couldn't cocentrate very well. Finally I was excited about something for I loved college fb! Over the years I had been in many fb pools and contests. Most were college fb but alas this one was not. Undaunted I was anxious for it to begin. There was some computer navigation in order to begin the league and I found I could not do the simplest tasks. I believe I missed the draft and the first two games...fortunately forrest got me set up. I have gained strength and probably by game 5 I was checking to see the results. I would be frustrated because I knew what I wanted to do with my team I just wouldn't have the physical or mental energy to make it happen. For instance adding/dropping players, using injured reserve, etc. didn't become manageable until the season went along. I have often thought that I need to give credit to fantasy fb for much of the return of my brain power in computer or iPad navigation. Aurally, I can do it seems like everything but but lists or typing I had to relearn, gain strength, to accomplish. Today is kinda a down day but I know and have said there are blessings everywhere...so I give thanks for the blessing of fantasy fb! I'm just glad the season was long!

Ps...I did terrible but there is always next year!

The dream that wasn't...

When I first "woke up" I was completely convinced I was in dream. I mean who had heard of a lift that conveyed you overhead like cargo, and giving meds in a stomach tube? Surely that was science fiction material. I decided to do a little research. Come to find out, the nurses, my mother-in- law and sister-in-law, Forrest, and others said very seriously "no, this was not a dream.". Finally, I decided that even if nearly losing my life was a dream, doing my therapy was the only way I knew to get back to Forrest and the kids and therapy I would do. I know some people think that my choice to give God credit for saving my life is easy. After all, what else can a hemiplegic do? One reason that I would like to recover is to testify that I am a changed person. God saw fit to save me and why wouldn't I give him the credit? I want my lifeto always reflect the glory of God!

The first shower...

I will never forget...
As I could not speak I find I don't recall how I exactly communicated the day I "woke up",however I showered. First of all, I was totally unprepared for my immodesty. I suppose I was laid bare the weeks I was in icu, but I don't remember that time. i was conveyed by a hoyer lift to a"shower chair". This was a PVC reclining contraption with a hole cut out the middle, where I sat. I was utterly embarrassed but too weak and of course unable to walk,thus I could not do anything myself. I will always be grateful to my cna that night(I think it was night). My cna was named Sheila and she patiently unmatted and washed my hair that had almost a month of neglect. I think it took alot of people to get me showered that evening and I can only imagine how I smelled...I have since progressed to jacuzzi baths(I have my husband who transfers me to thank), but I haven't forgotten one of my very first acts upon waking.
Sheila and others taught me much about selflessness. Jesus is totally selfless in a way to which I can only aspire. I try but selflessness is quite contrary to human nature.

PS--remember I am blogging what I don't want to forget...